Receiving

I worked as a massage therapist for several years. I’ve always had an acute sense of touch so massage was a good fit for a time. Among massage practitioners the word receiving had special meaning. We agreed that some clients were better at receiving than others.

The clients who could receive touch and allow the body to relax were easier to work on. When muscles didn’t let go, I could feel the resistance and what should be a sensual experience became hard work. To be fair, much depended on the skill of the massage practitioner and there were times when I was on the table and could not receive because I didn’t like the touch of the therapist.

I’ve come to understand receiving as a sense. Aside from touch and the other four senses, we have a large palette of senses that are not body centric. The sense of imagination is a sense. Love is a sense. Receiving is a sense. Senses give a being non-verbal information about situations and other people that is much more accurate than the logic output of the mind.

I can sense when things are coming to me. It could be an opportunity, money, another person or clarity about a situation. I’ve always had the sense of receiving but many times I’ve pushed whatever was on the way, away. I turned away jobs, opportunities, relationships and other things that would have made life smooth. I became adept at creating distance between myself and a world I wanted to be free from, yet a world I was up to my neck in.

I’ve never felt entirely comfortable being a human being. I can act out a story with the best of them but my heart was never in the human gig. So why am I here? The answer—receiving light.

In a way, I am the only being on the planet. All the energy is mine. Other people are mirrors to aspects of myself I am not yet aware of. There is no out there, out there. There is no reality until I show up. My human experiences and I’ve had a few, are all about me and always were.

So what is it about me that I don’t get? In a word, it’s receiving my light. Allowing energy to work for me is the same as receiving. It's knowing that everything I could ever want or need is already here. All I have to do is receive.

It’s taken me a long time to get to the point of realizing that I create the reality I want to experience. There was never anything to strive for, search for, struggle with or attain. Those things are the stuff of power, mind games and stories. I’m done with stories but I’m not done with life.

I want to experience receiving abundance, health and mental clarity in this final human life. I want to understand the physics of light. I want to fill the spaces between the cells of my body with light. I want to dream the light body into being. It’s about receiving the light of my consciousness, by far the most challenging part of the Journey.

Dalur